Monday, April 4, 2011

Romance redefined

This week is spring break for local schools. This means that I leave my husband and boys home while I go to work.  I fear that I could get used to this and could propose to Don that this become his permanent occupation, knowing very well that he would decline.  It is nice to wake up and only worry about myself, no packing lunches, no forcing children into uniforms, no poop under my fingernails and no listening to the Backyardigan's in the car.  I can actually look like I put makeup on. I went home for lunch and as I opened the already unlocked door to our house I was greeted by no one, not even the dog.  I heard the babies crib aquarium playing music. In the distance I could hear Jack upstairs singing, and in the basement I heard an uproar of laughter.  If this was a crime scene it would have been a slam dunk case for the detective. Breakfast? Cereal and juice. Lunch? Hotdogs with ketchup and mustard.  They must be dressed because there are pajamas scattered across the room.  The baby has had two bottles and half a jar of bananas.   Don emerged from the basement and I could tell by the redness of his eyes and what appeared to be a dip in his IQ that he too was playing Play Station 3. He seemed surprised to see me.  Usually when he is at home and I'm at work he prefers to receive a call to let him know I'm on my way. That gives him about 15 min. to clean the house before I walk in. This time he didn't have that warning.  I reminded him that I could have been a kidnapper or a dingo and just walked into the house and stolen our baby.  *I have been known to be a bit OCD about locking the doors, I can't count the number of times I have locked  Don out of the house when he took the trash out.  It is a must keep the kids on lock down at all times.
But to give him credit, everyone was content and happy.
As we approach our 10th year of marriage I have realized that romance has been redefined.  I have never been one for candle light dinners or carpet picnics by a fire.  But when I was younger I felt that romance involved reservations, a new outfit and roses.
This past weekend we celebrated my birthday.  My birthday is this week, but it is the day before our sons first birthday. I know now that my birthday will forever be an Oscar-eve. And I'm ok with that. In fact,  I was just commenting on how 33 was going to be a good year, only to have Don remind me that it WAS a good year and that I will actually be 34. Wow an entire year gone without my knowledge.  His parents are coming for their bi-annual visit at the extended stay, also known as our house. So he took this weekend as our last chance to celebrate. He arranged a babysitter ( romantic gesture number 1) and cleaned the house. I don't know why we feel the need to clean up for a babysitter, I guess we want to appear to live an immaculate lifestyle, but I don't think we are fooling anyone.
He had worked out all the logistics in order for us to have date ( romantic gesture number 2) He wouldn't tell me where, which later I realized that the only plan he had was to throw out suggestions and look at my expression to see if I thought they were good ones.   Like, "I thought we would go to _________ " (wait for my sour expression) " but then I realized you wouldn't want that and that maybe you would rather go to _______" 
(wait for my neutral expression) " but decided that  I know you would rather we go to _________" (giving me the side eye to see if I approved) once he got the notion of success, he confidently announced that we were going to a local Irish Pub to have beer and listen to a band.  But first, I let him know that I was obligated to go to my bosses house where all my colleagues would be present. He agreed. He even socialized appropriately.
(Romantic gesture number 3) He also was able to politely excuse us early (romantic gesture number 4) something I have a hard time doing and almost always wimp out or just try and leave out the back door.   As we cruised along in the minivan. I looked at my husband, the father of my children. I encourage everyone to just do this, not my husband, but your own significant other.  It sounds simple, but I was surprised that I hadn't actually taken a good long look at him in some time.  Other than his side burns being completely gray, he pretty much looks the same to me. I may be bias, but he really is a good looking guy. I wonder if this is how old people look at each other when they have been married for 70 years?  If you can look past the wrinkles, age spots, and goiters, and just see who you fell in love with in their 20's.
I remembered just earlier that day as I passed the nursery as he was changing one of Oscar's explosive diapers with ease and even whistled while he did it.  I also thought about how he passed a football with Parker and Fin and attacked Jack with a tickle spider. Just the flow our our house that day was romantic in its own right.  When we arrived at the pub he ordered a pale ale for me and although we couldn't hear each other, we were able to communicate with expression.  When I did go to the bathroom, I noticed him checking out my butt (Romantic gesture number 5) and realized that even after witnessing it expanding and contracting with each baby, I can still turn his head.  But even more importantly  was a simple comment that I made about his extremely effeminate glass holding his beer that made him laugh gutturally, humor is one thing that will never fade, the ability to laugh at ourselves or our situation. I hope that as I get older, I will only get funnier,  and I hope that he will still laugh, even if its at his own expense. Getting each other. THAT is romance redefined.

1 comment:

  1. More people would stay married if they had what you two have. You are very fortunate, but you already knew that ;) Happy birthday too.